Family Dinner
by bhut
Summary: Across the multiverse, Talia and Damian have a family dinner with Batman - and some other relatives. Note: the story has an OC.


**Family dinner**

 _Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine, but belong to DC™ and etc._

Once upon a time, when Batman was busy having some sort of a discussion with the Justice League, who should call him, but the latest Robin, his own son, Damian (Wayne).

"Yes, Robin?" he spoke into the comm.-link, because he was in public as Batman, rather than Bruce Wayne, so certain appearances had to be preserved. "What is it?"

"Mom called," the younger Wayne had a different P.O.V. on appearances, but he worked along with his father, because of Justice League and all. "She wants us to have dinner with _her_ side of the family."

"If she thinks-"

"She used 'please' **a lot** ," Robin continued, overriding his father. "Like, several times. And she uses it once when she is **really desperate** , and this time it was _more_ than just once."

Batman groaned. His relationship with Talia, (Damian's mother and NOT his wife), was the same as always – non-existent, save for Damien, but for Talia to be actually polite? Things had to be REALLY strange with her and Ra's.

"I'll be there," he muttered to his son.

"I'll tell mom," Damian replied, sounding happier than he usually did when talking to Bruce.

/ / /

When Batman arrived at the League of Assassins secret HQ, (he knew where it was because he was Batman, thank you very much), there was more hustle and bustle than the usual. There were more Egyptian accessories too, than the usual – Ra's and his daughters were never very big on ancient Egyptian for some reason. (Batman did not press because he did not want Talia to assume that he cared about her – he did not. Really.)

Somewhat surprisingly, Robin was already there, standing alongside his mother, looking vaguely worried, (and considering that he was never very emotional, this was also disturbing).

"Talia," Batman decided to address Robin later. "I'm here. What the big disturbance-?" (It came across in a more warm tone than the one he intended to use. Really.)

"You came!" Talia replied in a much happier voice than Batman was used to (from her) and in a saner manner than he was also used to, and gave him a very notable hug.

"Yes, I did," Batman twitched (he was not used to hugs, periods, and Catwoman did not count – usually when she did, she was about to distract him before making her latest escape). "This- well, no. What is going on? Something is off-"

"Yes, dear, you could say that," Talia exhaled and began to look more like her usual self. "Please, meet MY grandfather, my father's father, Apophis, the Devourer of the Dawn and the Bane of Egypt. He came over for a surprise visit."

To be honest, Batman HAD noticed the other man, who had approached them alongside Ra's. The family resemblance was there, but the rather strange hairdo was distracting, plus the pupils in his eyes were not quite the right shape, his eye teeth were slightly too long – and so were the ears…

"So, you're my GREAT-grandfather?" Robin spoke out of turn, (something that his parents would rather not have him do, BTW). "What's with the strange hairdo?"

"When I was your actual age – in ancient Egypt – this was actually popular," Apophis replied, smiling thinly. "So, you're the youngest generation?"

Robin just shrugged.

"Interesting. This is going to be a GOOD family dinner," Apophis continued in the same vein. "Maybe this family CAN conquer the world, after all."

As Ra's led his father away, Batman shot Talia a very unhappy look – he was a hero, after all.

Talia just fluttered her eyelashes at him – this WAS the League of Assassins, after all, so what did he expect?

Batman, for once, did not have an answer – yet.

/ / /

Unlike Damian, Batman himself had not had too many dinners with Talia's side of the family, and he never enjoyed them. Ra's could always talk, and apparently, so did his father. Which was good, because between the two of them, Batman did not really have to talk – and neither did anyone else.

Again, this might not be so bad, as whenever Batman felt like commenting, Talia would give him a look that implored that he kept quiet, as she did. Now, unlike, say, the Flash, Batman was never talkative, but hearing the older men talk while the rest of them kept quiet, (although Damian was fiddling with something under the table, out of the others' sight), brought back memories – of when his parents were alive and had to entertain their friends (well, people they had to tolerate) while Bruce stayed with other children. It…was not fun, at all, and not the sort of memory Batman wanted to dwell upon, either, especially because it was about his parents, (a touchy subject, naturally, for him).

To make matters worse, Talia was sitting right next to him, doing that eyelashes thing whenever he would intend to open his mouth – could she read him so well? Batman was never the biggest specialist when it came to women (he was World's Greatest Detective, not Lover, for a reason, **cough** ), and, again, this was not the story of an epiphany that gave Batman any peace of mind.

The situation came to a head, when on Apophis' final proclamation of how they ARE going to take over the world, for real, the doors to the Al-Ghul family compound opened and in came Hippolyta, the Queen of the Amazons, (including Wonder Woman).

"Apophis!" the stately blonde cried. "You escaped! From the Tenth Hour of Night, no less!"

"No, really?" the oldest man present replied wryly. "You don't say! How's your tryst with Hades of the Olympians going, BTW? I hear that you had a daughter yourself?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hippolyta replied in a similar tone. "Diana, you know anything about it?"

Wonder Woman, (who, apparently, had given her queen and mother a lift over here in her invisible plane), gave the older woman a look, which Hippolyta promptly ignored.

"Apparently not," Apophis did not sound very convinced or fooled by Hippolyta's statement. "On the other hand, my plans to conquer the world are derailed, Hippolyta, let's go and continue where we ended before we had the entire Greek vs. Egyptian fight."

"Gladly!" Hippolyta replied before catching herself. "Wait, what?"

"That's what I thought," Apophis said brightly, and with a strength belying his advanced age, he easily picked Hippolyta up and over his shoulder without any problems. "Everyone – just bugger off. Hippolyta and I are going to be busy." And they left.

Wonder Woman, (also known as Diana Prince), just blinked. "What the-?" she indicated nothing in general and her mother's departure in particular.

"I'll explain," Ra's replied in a much happier tone of voice than the one he had used before, took her arm in arm, and left.

"…I'll got and talk to Artemis," Damian did not even pretend to act clueless and rapidly vanished from the scene.

"…Our son is a little-" Batman began, but Talia interrupted:

"Our son, is he now?"

Batman just shook his head, remembered that he had been bored at the JL meeting anyhow, and just went with the flow. And Talia. To another bedroom.

The end.


End file.
